the right to bear armS(SSSSSSS)

Sam McKenzie Jr.
2 min readJan 27, 2018

Second Amendment Rewrites, Footnotes, Translations, and Commentary

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What If Instead Of:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

We Translated It To:

  • By people we mean able-bodied white men ages 18–45.
  • Since we white men, ages 18–45, are scared of being oppressed, get as many guns as you can.
  • A war is always imminent — bring your own guns (BYOGs)
  • We have no choice but to have guns.
  • Good people (white men) with guns will save us.
  • The second amendment people (white men) can do something about it.

And What If Our Founding Fathers Wrote The Famous Words Like This :

The Right to Bear Arms(SSSSSSS)

Put eight “S’s” on the end. Each one for the number of guns the average gun owner has in the U.S.

S” for — stand your ground

S” for — sell as many as possible

S” for — states’ rights

S” for — states don’t know what the hell they are doing

S” for — silencers

S” for — sell outs to the gun lobby

S” for — sawed off shotguns

S” for — semiautomatics

S” for — safety

S” for — snipers

S” for— sights

S” for — shell casings

S” for— Smith & Wesson

S” for — shooting range

S” for — smoke

S” for— shooting victims

S” for — survivors

S” for— second amendment

S” for— senseless

S” for — school children

S” for — shows

S” for — stupid

S” for— stop it

S” for — splatter

S” for — sickening

*The S’s can go on and on. There’s no limit to the number of guns you can buy.

It all gets an F.

“F” for Fail.

“F” for our founding fathers didn’t know about today.

“F” for Freakin’ Pass Sensible Gun Control Laws Already.

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